New Perspective on happiness

 Previously i have put a blog on happiness, what is happiness and intrinsic or extrinsic.

Suddenly i have a new perspective of happiness. 

I will split it in to 3 levels. 

First level - social and psychological happiness. 

Look at children, they can be so happy and no worries as they are socially and psychologically secured. they do not need to pay for food, clothes, transport or accomodation. it is so easy for them to be happy as they do not need to worry if they are able to pay for it as to them till they grow up, this is an abundant asset. So i classified first level of happiness as financial freedom - no need to worry for your expenses.

Second level - Extrinsic happiness

As an adult, being able to purchase neeeds and wants gives spurts of extrinsic happiness. gives you temporary off the mind of the burden and issues you face on Level 1. you probably felt really good to be able to buy your favourite watch, getting a good deal for something you always wanted, going on a holiday, laughing at comedy and videos. these are temporary as the most fundamental happiness is yet to be met .

Third level - intrinsic happiness

this is the hardest to achieve (similar to esteem and self actualisation needs in maslow hierachy). and this has the longest effect. meaning you probably have spouts of unhappiness like a child than having spouts of happiness like an adult. Level 1 will probably be fulfilled, means you do not really have to worry about responsibilities and living paycheck to paycheck. you will experience addtional happiness when you go on your trips and probably shopping as well. while you are seeking something more satisfying, something out of your control. Eg, Praises, gifts, recognitions. internally, probably you get to do something you have never done and get a sense of satisfaction. these are way and above. 

These 3 category can happen randomly without the need to fulfil each level. while the frequency increaseif you manage to satisfy the fundamental level. thats why children can be easily satisfied and be happy while adults, being independent, need to worry on the full spectrum of life. 

While i have fulfilled level 1 in the near term, level 3 has been haunting me that makes it hard to be happy due to uncertainty and overthinking. but then thats what Adults are wired, as we plan for future needs and emergency. 

Till then hope everyone can be happy. 

Jacerlife at cross junction

Whats the meaning of life again. working hard, carve out a name for yourself, leading a team of people, climbing up the corporate ladder or even be your own boss? Root of all the events - Maslow Hierachy - Making money, social needs, being recognised anyd esteem needs, and lastly when u reach the top, self actualisation needs. Having gone through the great times of corporate ladder and understinading how corporate works, it seems that its now to the last stage. I am 43, and i have already seen people leaving this world, trapped in the rat race, many regrets, many wants and many needs. so should i hold on to the things that is necessary but not sure how much is enough, or should i let go and be myself. I do miss the old me who is proud and arrogant, kind of on top of the world though that time i am probably just on top of the rock in a well. 

As we grow older, we grow wiser, we also grow weaker, lots of ambition yet less energy. WE want to provide for the family, we want to lead a good life, but then again, how good is good? some people say time is money, money is important, while some wants more time for family, friends and oneself. So what balance can we strike? 

So what should one do? there is no success formula as we get older. there are a lot more noise instead. meaning, there are so many aspects to be successful. unlike schooling age, having good grades, friends, excel in CCA is good. now, there are minimalism, family oriented, career oriented, kids, wife, car, house, branded, time, hobbies or even health.

I have a loving family, fully paid house, an old car, a job, wont get hungry, wont be considered rich. yet getting by nicely. but then, it still feel empty. what should be done and what else i need to do? there are so many paths, so many cross roads, leading to different outcome. Some people say Walk and see, some say stay put, anyway life is short, some say just be happy, but how? 

A friend passed away at 62, same goes to my Father in law, so time is limited or ample? should i start doing what i want to do which has since diluted to the fact i dont know what i want to do. or should i continue to excel in work just to realise that life is too short to spend on work? or be with family where eventually they grow up and be independent and i am also in same state. 

Probably there is only 1 person left who read this blog, thats my wife. i trying to stay calm all the time, but the quantom randomness is always firing off in me, and many people say i think too much, which i agreed that i did. well probably ignorance is a blessing. now i just reset my course, and start steering towards it. 

Life has ups and downs, and indeed i am glad i am not ditched during my downs. but at some point i do feel tired and lathargic as the goals in life become more and more virtual. the urge and want is vague, just want to lead a simple life yet want to push myself to accomplish more. 

#felonyof life.

Life as a swimming coach (found this in draft 12 year ago) decided to complete it with different perspective.

IN 2013 I WROTE THIS 

Everyone fights for your own passion and dreams. As a swimming coach, we are always swimming in circles. Since i started out, i have witness many changes in this industry especially to those related to government. many years ago, you require lifesaving 123, BM and CPR and swimming instructor course to qualify as a coach. And 10 years back, NCAP is introduced, National Coaches accreditation program, we are supposed to go through additional theory course to make us a better coach. 2 years back, big changes happen as a swim coach, the well known NASSA Survival course is abolished and came swimsafer course.

Many more implementation are installed to trying to 'make us better', eg. Swimsafer redevelopment course, organised yearly, lifesaving development course, swimsafer accessor course. All these are beefed up to make this industry to make it seems like a money making industry and we are required to attend all these courses to keep our status active.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars has been spent on the research and development of the course by Australians for our local Swimsafer syllabus and yet the outcome is similar to our very own Aquapaks by Singapore Lifesaving Society. Is this mere coincidence or Swimming is all about all this?

Swimming is a recreational activity, children and adults and elderly requires to know about water confidence and swimming strokes to have fun playing in waters or exercise to keep fit.

Swimsafer is a hybrid of swimming and lifesaving, Neither does it train a person to be very competent in swimming nor it helps in making one a good lifesaver. It is merely an introduction to swimming and a tool to allow operators to issue certificates for school projects to issue certs at the end of the 10 sessions of swimming.

Many swimming instructors know that this is a flop and yet we do not dare to voice out due to the fact that we still need their support to teach in SSC pools to have a living.

This is not the first time i have inquired about this swimsafer syllabus through the papers, We have been assured that new courses are promised to roll out to provide a better course structure to Singaporeans to make them better swimmers and After a year of promise, we have yet to see the highly anticipated course.

Instead of rolling out new course syllabus, We have new rules and regulations to follow, testing standards have changed, we need to have additional accessors to be present to supervise us testing the swimming class and to make sure that as an instructor, we have provided a good testing code of conduct.

More red tapes are involved as we need to log on to the website to submit names and wait for an available accessor to test the students. I really wonder, if swimming 10meteres really need to be so stringent for such a family oriented activity and simple skills set? And all these red tapes in booking for examinations not only increase the cost of testing with more parties involved, it will also reject coaches with smaller setup who only have 2-3 students for testing due to monetary issues as accessors will have fixed allowance for each test.

SO THE ABOVE WAS WRITTEN 12 YEARS BACK. 

NOW IN 2025, we finally have more syllabus coming. 

Swimsafer have further evolved. and now we have swimstart, Swimfun. Swimbetter, Swim further, Swimfaster. i really give high praise to the creativity of our governance and marketing team to create so many things that fundamentally is to swim the 4 swim strokes (freestyle, Breaststroke, backstroke and butterfly). is there really a need to have so many certifications to satisfy the certifications hunger of parents or its just a mere marketing gimmicks to have the certifications. This year, a swimming test has increased to $50 per person from the previous $10 only. 

While it seems that there are a lot of work and research done, the syllabus is also seems to be a copy of what STA (Swimming Teacher Association) syllabus that has already been in the market for decades. So i really wonder who is profiting from all the plagiarism or i would say deviation from learning the fundamentals of swimming 4 strokes? 

What is the difference now?? what are we really driving to the students? learn to swim? or just fanciful certifications to fulfil the Kiasu mindset of parents? Who really swim backstroke and butterfly in their leisure swim? and how does all these certifications really reduce drowning, when one do not practice what is taught?

These days, divergence in Marketing, Sales and Operations are a serious problem, people are so indulged on the surface while deep down, no one really care what should and is delivered. 

Above are personal opinions. Not a direct confrontation with whoever that started and running this program.

Happiness? Intrinsic one. not extrinsic happiness, please!

How to be happy? Many people know what is happiness and why it is so important? but how to be truly happy? how this society is teaching the knowledge of how to be happy while working on the direct opposite to ensure that your life is filled with stress, responsibility, hardship and taking away the pure happiness which they preached that you need to have.

Now, so what is true happiness. why is it that many people are not happy, why do they need stimulus like movies, jokes, silly acts to give you momentarily happiness, or is it these momentarily acts that bring them out of the unhappy environment?

Now, take a step back when you are happy, when was it? when was the real freedom and lifestyle that make you feel light, happy, and carefree? School days (when there is no exams). Exactly!. why? happiness comes from inside, not external stimulus, the freedom of life with no responsibility or responsibility that you can cope, the stress free environment where there is nothing to worry about. life can pass by where you know everything can be taken care of. 

Scenarios:

being rich

One may say being rich will be happy, but some rich people are so unhappy as they have reached the next level of life where its hard to let go. its just like playing game of level 99, and death means starting from level 1, so will you be happy that you are on level 99 or you are stressed that you need to attain the level 100? 

Minimalist

Many people also takes a minimalist approach, being sufficient is enough. and no need to achieve more than that, yes, one can find inner peace, but if you increase the timeline, including the time where you are no longer able to work, and you are on limited savings, adding the inflation  and cost of living through the years. one can not help the jittery up the spine and giving the cold snuggle that what we do today is not enough. 

Hobby

Frankly, after working for 15 years, i no longer know what is my hobby, what i like to do and what i want to try, there are many things that once i dearly wanted but no longer having feelings to do. and after committed to work hard for 15 years, busy day in and out and trying to do the best as a worker, a husband, a father, and a child, i realise i lost myself along the way. i no longer recall anything that is considered a hobby can excite me and yearning to try to do. 

So now, what is happiness? how can one truly be happy? being positive? being minimalist? doing what you like and only worry tomorrow? maybe the best way is to let go of everything, and no expectation in life and probably end the life when we have exhausted all our resources.  

Tell me how you can have intrinsic happiness if you are yet reaching retirement age, and yet you know that what you are doing today is just hardship through adult life and may prolong into retirement life eventually till death. 

Singaporean life.

After 8 months of unemployment, everything seems so grey, many things around me has changed. and you can actually feel it. Things are no longer the same as it is, the arrogance of you is gone, the self confidence you once had seems so fragile, the life we so much wanted seems so far away. 

Singapore is a small country with no natural disasters, we are even ranked the happiest country (i do not know why). But in a very micro view, you will realize how competitive we are in our own world. in school we need to score good GPA results to go to better schools, in life we trying our best to do as much as possible to become better than anyone else. we are in a constant struggle with our peers, trying to out-win and outperform. A stark contrast when you go to other countries, where life seems less competitive and they appreciate life as it is and happy that they are alive. Probably that's the best thing about having natural disaster, to be repairing everything they build and survive every destruction that came. 

Singapore is also fantastic to bring up competition. look at inflation, the numbers are low, but look at housing and private transportation, the price is ridiculously high. Who can afford if you earn $5000 a month? to buy a HDB at $750k or a basic car at $150k? seems really ridiculous to what we want to lead a comfortable life. 

So the joke is, while foreigners always appreciate us in our high salary, cheap food, none actually know that we are simply asset rich and cash strapped. life is never as rosy and it just seems an endless cycle in the rat race unless you are a boss (but different set of problem).

no conclusion to this post, but we just live in what we are in, its not easy to live outside our identity and our origins. so i still struggling to see what else i can do!

Some concepts that i like to quantify in my life.

 Old school guy that cannot do videos. so i shall just write it here...

Teenage days

Being good and learning in school didn’t mean that you will be successful

Life is a lot more than learning in school and doing well in subjects

Taking risk and pitfalls seems to be the best time for your life

Nothing to lose. No responsibility. Good to venture into different adventure.

Joke of life -28 to 42 years old. 

Working for others - having a huge hope of climbing the corporate ladder

Thinking that company will always provide opportunities for you as you learn while others that probably venture out already make their mark as they have nothing to lose

Learning/ one step position is the façade to delay progression and to further analyse your path in the corporate world.

Your ability is nothing merely to the eyes of the superior as corporate world is just a thin ice, walking on It and you never know when it will crack and fell into the waters. 

Days of being unemployed

1. It is not how much you are earning, but how much task and work you have to keep you feel useful

2. The Singapore society has a myopia that everyone has to work and not being unemployed

3. Living at a age past 40, having a job seems more important than not having one. 

a. After 45, the best before has expired and its really difficult to get a job

4. Inertia of learning is so strong, so hard to do something different

5. Starting out and going on a different path of business owner seems so hard compared to just being a function of the company.

a. Worried of losing out

b. Worried of unable to perform

c. Getting the right support and materials to sell 

Parenting

We are not Kiasu, we just want to protect the last safety net of ensuring basic education and success for our kids. That’s the only thing parents know. Future road is paved by you, no parents can envision what future is like, what we can do is only to equip as much as we can to ensure you are more ready to what life going to be in future. 

Adaptability

Poor people turning rich will still feel happier having his/her favourite simple food. While rich turn poor will be stressed over simple food. No matter what we become, we can never release our old self and where we really feel comfortable.

Live positively

昨天去世的人或许还在规划着明天，早上去世的人可能还在计划着晚上。也许一瞬间一切都会消失，忙碌中我们来不及享受，我们漠视了爱与被爱，赖人活着到底为了什么？我们这一生总是在等，等将来，等不忙，等有钱，等到了后来只有遗憾。因为你永远也不知道下一秒将会发生什么，所以请善待自己。这个世界其实就你一个人，你在世界就在，你没了世界就消失了。人这一辈子想得开的就是天堂，想不开就是地狱。越在意什么，什么就会折磨。你你越计较什么，什么就会困扰你。你之所以痛苦就是因为你太过较真了。你之所以迷茫就是因为你太计较得失了。‘

survival

钱没了可以再挣，工作没了可以再找，朋友没了可以再交，爱情没了可以再找，你生来就一无所有，何惧从头再来。强大的人不是能征服什么，而是能承受什么。睡前原谅一切，醒来便是重生。活着就要遇山开路，遇水架桥，出门靠自己，四海皆为家，得到未必是福，失去未必是祸，人生各有渡口，各有各洲，万般皆是命，半点不由人。有一句话说得好，成熟不分早晚，重要的是你能坚持，在崩溃中前行。这才是一个男人该有的样子 

Attitude

我唯独喜欢自己的一点就是仁至义尽后的彻底绝情。因为我不再亏欠你，所以你也无需试探。我一旦开始反感就再也不会喜欢。你有你做事的理由，我有我为人的自由。善良的人一旦选择了绝情，你连跪着的资格都没有。

Educating next generation

你们家起的最早的是谁？我妈妈。在你们家，谁是负责赚钱干活最多的人？我爸爸。

对，那最后一个问题，吃的最好的，睡的最香的是谁？我。

是吧，到你自己了，你这吃的挺好的，玩的也挺好的，你看你打扮的多潮啊，衣服穿得多好啊，都是名牌。我怎么没觉得看着你好呢？你的学习状态哪去了？你要等到你爸妈头发全都白了之后，他们干不动了，人老了，你才明白什么叫努力，那个时候觉得你还有用吗？

你知道这个世界上最没良心的人是谁吗？是忘恩负义，对不对？那些吃父母的，花父母的，就还有脑子里去恨父母的人，要钱的时候要求父母的时候，我态度好，我是个乖乖仔。不要的时候，巴不得他们离你越远越好，是吧？滚到天边月最好，然后把她微信都给拉黑了，不会联系爸爸妈妈了，对不对？你要真的是个男子汉，我告诉你，你注意自己的态度，等他们离你很远的时候，孩子，子欲养而亲不待。老师上课也讲过你，不要等到你亲人不在了，你最后后悔都来不及。你能够明白吗？你可能现在还没有感受到，我希望今天老师说的话，你听进去。对你没有坏处， 你自己再去感受感受，谁是真的在你遇到困难的时候，再对你好的人。真心对你，愿意就你拉你一把的人。是不是你想明白这个道理，你在想着你要不要跟那些狐朋狗友出去鬼混，好吧。老师最后一次提醒你了我相信你可以做到啊。

9 years on. i am back to where i am today

 It has been 9 years since my last blog. i thought blogspot has closed. but to my surprise, my blogs are still there. 

So what happen over the 9 years. 

I was in and out of 3 companies, Getting higher in my career path and accelerating into the next stage of life. well, i can say that in my last co. i have been treated differently and seems to be well respected "Like a boss". then came the drastic truth of cost cutting, everything i built over the last 9 years seems to have crashed. finding myself unemployed and lost in the vast universe. 

Good that i have enough savings that tide me through this period, i don't know how long more will i still be in this situation. *fingers crossed*. Not here to bitch of my life, but what i have learned....

Well the thing is, what we have today can be gone in seconds, be it career, health, family, friends. the hopes of all companies promising great future may just be an empty promise. the illusion of doing good, life good may just be another dream. 

I have tried many things over the last 5 months, venturing into businesses, understanding different businesses and supplies. trying my best to bring myself together. indeed, it is terribly hard. emotionally unstable. and trying my best to be strong. but each time i try to get up, i realize its another illusion.

and probably the underlying issue with me is i am still battered by the sheer fact that i am no longer where i used to be. going back to the lowest point just don't seem motivating for me.  

Guess the next best option is still to find another job, the only difference is, there is no more emotions, no more passion in the next work that i am in. as what people say, if you don't expect anything there is no disappointment.

I guess everyone has their tastes of ups and downs in life to really call it life. else life can be as boring as it can gets. 

At least i am still blessed with a great family. I am really proud to have a good and supportive wife. and 4 kids who are sensible and doing well. well, the only downside is the elder generation are getting on my nerves now and then, trying to discord my principles of coaching my children, giving old and outdated information to the kids, being negatives, nagging, and creating friction in the family. 

till next time, Ciao!!