Do you set goals and have expectations of yourself? do you look further in the future to see how you should move on? Many people feedback to me that at age of 28, everything seems good for you. You have a car, a wife and a kid coming. You have a flexible job with good income and nothing seems to be needed. But hey, look further, you guys are climbing up, while i am stagnant. You guys have bonus while i have pay cut. You guys report to one boss, everyone seems to be my boss. You all have stable job, while everyday i have to fight to get a stable income.
grass always seem greener on the other side. When u have a job, you feel like doing something else to have more time and money. And if you have time and money, u feel like having a job to be more stable. Life seems to be emcompassed with unwanted wants, creates frustration and problems because of these wants. I wan time, but no money, i wan money but no time. and with time and money, you wan more money. Why more money, because u need bigger house, bigger car, but is it needed?
Life seems more and more bleak for me, with many problems lurking. People ask if you like to continue swimming, some ask if its time to get a pay cut and start from square 1 and get a job. So what should i do? there is no perfect plan or easiest plan. but we are always living with limited resources, be it time or money, it is never enough.
So lets see. remember to view this blog 6 mths from now, so i know if i still the same old me. Or i have really moved on.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sudden change
have you ever have a major shift in life? Like getting married and having a baby? Each seems a major milestone in life and really take time to adapt. For me, both came together. Not shot gun marriage but baby after marriage.
However its not that you are not happy, its your family don seems to be happy. My mom rather not to be known of and should be kept a secret. Her mom feels that house prior baby. no house how to have children? no place to hang clothes, no place to put cot etc. but then again, whose house is a 5 room exec mansion with balcony attached. How much do i have, if i earn really a lot, will still be the same old me? if i dont earn alot then how you expect me to get a house? i did try but always come with rejection. So what can i do? Wait... And now such remarks. Side note:"How singapore population boom with all the room rental only in the past?"
Previously I have a house in mind, a 30 yr old house. I loved it. and now that i lost it. i loved it even more. At tat time, all feedbacks came and since is your first purchase i believe feedback are impt. so i regret. Lesson Learned: who care who tell you. as long as its your liking, jus buy, who cares if you cant pay. Someone will be there to pay.
And now comes abt marriage. REMEMBER, don assume. Coz assumption is bad. but clarification is worse. So i assume. Things are fine for the past 7 years. now even the house pad lock has a problem. Remember don assume but don clarify. Great Risk in marriage. haha...The cupboard is a prob, the table is a prob, the bed is a prob. and no sun is a prob. So with all the problems i solve one by one, just to see more coming.
Lesson learned: Solving and giving in is never recognised. Once a boy with one queen bed and a huge cupboard which is always full is now a Man with a small corner with a a quarter of the cupboard. Once a boy who don need to clean anything is now a man who tries to clean everything.
However its not that you are not happy, its your family don seems to be happy. My mom rather not to be known of and should be kept a secret. Her mom feels that house prior baby. no house how to have children? no place to hang clothes, no place to put cot etc. but then again, whose house is a 5 room exec mansion with balcony attached. How much do i have, if i earn really a lot, will still be the same old me? if i dont earn alot then how you expect me to get a house? i did try but always come with rejection. So what can i do? Wait... And now such remarks. Side note:"How singapore population boom with all the room rental only in the past?"
Previously I have a house in mind, a 30 yr old house. I loved it. and now that i lost it. i loved it even more. At tat time, all feedbacks came and since is your first purchase i believe feedback are impt. so i regret. Lesson Learned: who care who tell you. as long as its your liking, jus buy, who cares if you cant pay. Someone will be there to pay.
And now comes abt marriage. REMEMBER, don assume. Coz assumption is bad. but clarification is worse. So i assume. Things are fine for the past 7 years. now even the house pad lock has a problem. Remember don assume but don clarify. Great Risk in marriage. haha...The cupboard is a prob, the table is a prob, the bed is a prob. and no sun is a prob. So with all the problems i solve one by one, just to see more coming.
Lesson learned: Solving and giving in is never recognised. Once a boy with one queen bed and a huge cupboard which is always full is now a Man with a small corner with a a quarter of the cupboard. Once a boy who don need to clean anything is now a man who tries to clean everything.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
NASH Equlibrium - A beautiful Mind
John Nash, the famous game theorist on Nash equilibrium where everyone will worry about the outcome if they select this outcome and the other select the other. And the end result will select one outcome which they feel will gain the most benefit. As in the beautiful mind, there are 5 ladies and 4 guys, all 4 guys likes 1 lady but if all 4 goes for the 1 lady, none will get her, but if all 4 choose the 4 ladies even if that is not the best outcome, they will be happy for the night. Well, that is true but there are many hidden assumptions.
First, who is going to give in? Since there are 4 guys, all 4 are of equal caliber, why should i give in and even if one is the most handsome, why should the rest give in to him? This lead to unhappiness among the group.
second, will there be a sequential game? Where everyone knows that the most pretty one is the most sought of, and even they choose the second grade, as time goes will they all move on to the better one?
third, change in environment? Will more girls or guys being introduced to the scene, how will the payoff be? will they still get what they want or move on since the current payoff may be lower than moving off.
Forth, First mover advantage/ disadvantage? I choose the beauty or the second grade, just to see the changes going to happen with my friends choose the rest. will i defect and choose someone else? should i still move first or wait?
Game theory is still a theory, even with NASH equilibrium to understand how people make decisions, but in this complex and ever changing environment, things change and decisions still change. since there are far too many people (Perfect competition) to consider the scenario and select whats best for themselves and others, , The end result will still prisoner dilemma. Ultimate winner is still the one up there who set the game.
So much so for game theory.
First, who is going to give in? Since there are 4 guys, all 4 are of equal caliber, why should i give in and even if one is the most handsome, why should the rest give in to him? This lead to unhappiness among the group.
second, will there be a sequential game? Where everyone knows that the most pretty one is the most sought of, and even they choose the second grade, as time goes will they all move on to the better one?
third, change in environment? Will more girls or guys being introduced to the scene, how will the payoff be? will they still get what they want or move on since the current payoff may be lower than moving off.
Forth, First mover advantage/ disadvantage? I choose the beauty or the second grade, just to see the changes going to happen with my friends choose the rest. will i defect and choose someone else? should i still move first or wait?
Game theory is still a theory, even with NASH equilibrium to understand how people make decisions, but in this complex and ever changing environment, things change and decisions still change. since there are far too many people (Perfect competition) to consider the scenario and select whats best for themselves and others, , The end result will still prisoner dilemma. Ultimate winner is still the one up there who set the game.
So much so for game theory.
Why our society becomes like this? Prisoner dilemma
Its been long since i blogged. I was wondering why our society becomes a place where everyone is fighting for survival and trying to gain as much profit as possible and prices will definitely keep rising. Why? Think of prisoner's dilemma of game theory. Everyone wants the best for themselves and the end is both select the best they thought for themselves and get a worse outcome desired.
As for this economy, everyone tries to out win each other and many will not bother of other's survival and end result, price keep rising, things keep going up and the one "gov" to set up the plot, just sit and gain the taxes and rental they desired, while the people out there fighting for survival.
Even if there is one kind soul who will try to sell things at cost or at moderate cost to cover all expenses, will still face a problem = the public. Why? because, the general public eyes are generally blind, they see ads believing that it is true, and many sellers use price change and discounts to blind the public, so its really hard to differentiate who is genuine and who is really helping out. And without cash, no advertisement and its even harder to open the eyes of the public. This lead to closure even if you are there to help and people still dont appreciate. To aggrevate, sometimes low price = low quality so they still wont buy it. So the end result, price as high as possible to get profit for advertisement and earn as much
In any case, everyone has to think of personal survival and comfort first. Dont you think so? So don you think that as time pass, we are just making us more complex and increase sufferings just to stay put? Thats life, its hard to change. How to feel self sufficient in this Cosmopolitan Society?
As for this economy, everyone tries to out win each other and many will not bother of other's survival and end result, price keep rising, things keep going up and the one "gov" to set up the plot, just sit and gain the taxes and rental they desired, while the people out there fighting for survival.
Even if there is one kind soul who will try to sell things at cost or at moderate cost to cover all expenses, will still face a problem = the public. Why? because, the general public eyes are generally blind, they see ads believing that it is true, and many sellers use price change and discounts to blind the public, so its really hard to differentiate who is genuine and who is really helping out. And without cash, no advertisement and its even harder to open the eyes of the public. This lead to closure even if you are there to help and people still dont appreciate. To aggrevate, sometimes low price = low quality so they still wont buy it. So the end result, price as high as possible to get profit for advertisement and earn as much
In any case, everyone has to think of personal survival and comfort first. Dont you think so? So don you think that as time pass, we are just making us more complex and increase sufferings just to stay put? Thats life, its hard to change. How to feel self sufficient in this Cosmopolitan Society?
Monday, January 25, 2010
friends personality = you?
As you think through of the friends around you, who are close to you and who are not? and what are their personality? Are they similar to you? Somehow or rather, the statistics of how your friends are, is equivalent to who you are.
IF they are friendly, you are; if they are rich, you are. As we socialise with our friends, somehow, we will have some characteristics of our friends and personalities. And so we become part of them. If you start complaining of how your friend treat you, maybe thats how you treat your friends. Tit for Tat.
So is it really true that your friend personality and who they are equivalent to who you are?
IF they are friendly, you are; if they are rich, you are. As we socialise with our friends, somehow, we will have some characteristics of our friends and personalities. And so we become part of them. If you start complaining of how your friend treat you, maybe thats how you treat your friends. Tit for Tat.
So is it really true that your friend personality and who they are equivalent to who you are?
Child education
teaching a child is never easy. they will turn up to be what you want them to be. its a matter of how you tame them and how you teach them to become your ideal person.
Similar to having a pet, u tame them and make them becoming what you want them to be. and we all know stray cats cant become tamed cats and tamed cats hard to become stray cats. Thats the similar idea in dealing with kids. As you want them to be good and teach them the best, yet you dont want them to be tamed. As you want them to stray yet wants them to be good. So you have to strike a balance in teaching them.
Over protection of children will lead to tamed child, unable to take the weather and social environment of deceits. And uder protection leads to strayed child, afraid that they go bad and create crimes. So what is your ideal child? how you want to teach them?
Similar to having a pet, u tame them and make them becoming what you want them to be. and we all know stray cats cant become tamed cats and tamed cats hard to become stray cats. Thats the similar idea in dealing with kids. As you want them to be good and teach them the best, yet you dont want them to be tamed. As you want them to stray yet wants them to be good. So you have to strike a balance in teaching them.
Over protection of children will lead to tamed child, unable to take the weather and social environment of deceits. And uder protection leads to strayed child, afraid that they go bad and create crimes. So what is your ideal child? how you want to teach them?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Speak for yourself
Have you wonder when we start reprimanding and make remarks on others in doing something. can we do it ourselves? When we tell someone off, are we doing the same thing? It seems that many has the ability to comment and tell others whats right or wrong but when it comes to ourselves, can we do what we told others to do? Will we be able to console ourselves the way we console others?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Different Faces in Life
As we grow and adapt to different roles in life, we start to wear different masks and show different attitude to different people. For example, when talking to friends, vulgarity and anything can be displayed while talking to bosses, we have to be humble and with respect. So these are so much different from the individual character.
Especially when there is an upgrade in status and upgrade in status. As we become adult, we are still our mummy kid, and so what face should you show? mummy boy or professional?
As we get married, are we the same old boyfriend and girlfriend feeling or become the more responsible husband and wife status? And in the transition of upgrade, will there be conflict?
to me any change in status should not have any change, as it a natural process. but to some there are many changes and expectation arise from it. I call this Adaptation to the norm. What is norm, the ideas and culture suggested by the ones around you.
And with the new adaptation to changes and expectation, will it be more stressful to others or easier for others. Especially true for people who think marriage will make one change. So which is true?
I getting to feel many changes around me, while i still stagnant as being an paid unemployed. I can feel the different changes around. Eg, friends start to work and no one with you. Married couples has no time for you, Your gf who soon may turn into wife to be becomes more domineering than ever, and wants things done their way. So theses are all changes as we become older and more different faces in life.
Well inaddition is the addition of faces. the face of professional, parents, child, colleagues, friends, client, bf, gf, all these we have different attitudes for every each of them and so. as we have moer faces, can we cope with our existing face? mummy boy and good bf?
I leave this for you to debate.
PS. the writing is a bit messed as i in a hurry, but wants to blog it before i forget.
Especially when there is an upgrade in status and upgrade in status. As we become adult, we are still our mummy kid, and so what face should you show? mummy boy or professional?
As we get married, are we the same old boyfriend and girlfriend feeling or become the more responsible husband and wife status? And in the transition of upgrade, will there be conflict?
to me any change in status should not have any change, as it a natural process. but to some there are many changes and expectation arise from it. I call this Adaptation to the norm. What is norm, the ideas and culture suggested by the ones around you.
And with the new adaptation to changes and expectation, will it be more stressful to others or easier for others. Especially true for people who think marriage will make one change. So which is true?
I getting to feel many changes around me, while i still stagnant as being an paid unemployed. I can feel the different changes around. Eg, friends start to work and no one with you. Married couples has no time for you, Your gf who soon may turn into wife to be becomes more domineering than ever, and wants things done their way. So theses are all changes as we become older and more different faces in life.
Well inaddition is the addition of faces. the face of professional, parents, child, colleagues, friends, client, bf, gf, all these we have different attitudes for every each of them and so. as we have moer faces, can we cope with our existing face? mummy boy and good bf?
I leave this for you to debate.
PS. the writing is a bit messed as i in a hurry, but wants to blog it before i forget.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Right or Wrong?
Many times, we feel that some one in this event is not correct, should not do so. etc.. but are we right or wrong.. So whats right or wrong? Our range of perception sees things that we feel right or wrong, and when we feel unjust we tell the person. But have you thought that the person is doing the right thing that he think he is right? and maybe we are actually wrong? so whats right or wrong?
My definition is the next best alternative. Thats all i say.
My definition is the next best alternative. Thats all i say.
Readers
For those who reads my blog, if you have any comments feel free to tell me. And even if you have no comments, do let me know you reading my blog. Actually i don know who reads my blog except for one, but if you are reading and have some views do let me know. Coz this is really not just for someone out there but everyone out there. i know its wierd to post this but, i do like to know how many supporters there are.
Tata~ take care
Tata~ take care
thoughts of relationship
Watching the hongkong drama "shi nai bing tuan" about husbands looking for other affairs. Makes me think of something which may seems bad but something that girls should think about. Why do husbands look for other girls? is it because they are simply unfaithful or their love have really changed? why such things happens? and its so common since out of 10 couples who got married, 3 got divorced. And what is marriage to us nowadays?
Well, i always have this analogy, girls hate this but i would still like to say, when your shoes. still able to wear, but because it looks abit old, will you still wear it? will you feel that it no longer fits you and wants a change? Likewise, for guys, when your girl turns fat and plump, even with repeated hinting and warnings, they still turn plump, will you be tempted to change girlfriends or more tempted by the beauties that attracts all mankind?
so why i say so, it takes 2 hands to clap, even if we have grown old, we still need to have some value. Signing the paper is something, but fulfiling the contract is another. Being a wife or husband not only cares and love for each other, but also themselves. If you lose your personal self image and self consciousness, people will lose faith in you, including your husband.
In addition from my parents, love is no longer blind, if you really care for someone and do something for someone, make sure you let the someone knows. cause perceived satisfaction level by the receiver is often different from the perceived satisfaction perceived by the provider. meaning if you dont tell him or her, she will not know. and when she do not know and she continues to show more care and satisfaction, there is a disequilibrium, meaning she or he starts to feel unjust about the relationship and starts complaining. As he thinks he put in more effort than the other and so snowballs and misunderstandings and soon castrophe. This i got from my parents. One thing power about them is they can snow ball for decades yet have not signed the divorce papers, may be they are too poor or stingy to engage lawyers to do so. I guess.
Well, i always have this analogy, girls hate this but i would still like to say, when your shoes. still able to wear, but because it looks abit old, will you still wear it? will you feel that it no longer fits you and wants a change? Likewise, for guys, when your girl turns fat and plump, even with repeated hinting and warnings, they still turn plump, will you be tempted to change girlfriends or more tempted by the beauties that attracts all mankind?
so why i say so, it takes 2 hands to clap, even if we have grown old, we still need to have some value. Signing the paper is something, but fulfiling the contract is another. Being a wife or husband not only cares and love for each other, but also themselves. If you lose your personal self image and self consciousness, people will lose faith in you, including your husband.
In addition from my parents, love is no longer blind, if you really care for someone and do something for someone, make sure you let the someone knows. cause perceived satisfaction level by the receiver is often different from the perceived satisfaction perceived by the provider. meaning if you dont tell him or her, she will not know. and when she do not know and she continues to show more care and satisfaction, there is a disequilibrium, meaning she or he starts to feel unjust about the relationship and starts complaining. As he thinks he put in more effort than the other and so snowballs and misunderstandings and soon castrophe. This i got from my parents. One thing power about them is they can snow ball for decades yet have not signed the divorce papers, may be they are too poor or stingy to engage lawyers to do so. I guess.
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