Seems that everyone has different stages in life. we are constantly on stage to show what we are good for and what we are supposed to do and there is a standard where everyone follows and if dont, seems that you are out of place and simply don belong here.
Since young we study hard, to try to earn a decent straight A's and as we grow older we start go work and soon we find ourself stuck in the rat race. Then as we grow older, we become parents, and the cycle of taking care of the young starts again.
Maslow Hierachy theory seems to work or i am just a normal guy and so i need to fulfil the needs. From physiological needs, to love needs, to security needs, to self esteem, to self actualisation. I am earning a decent income, somehow above average degree holder, but no one recognises that. Unlike managers from xxx company, when they see name card, they go wow wow wow. So me do feel a little out of place, no one recognises and no authority and power. Am i purely ignorant or do you feel the same, where no one recognises you for your effort or for what you are?
So should i start working and hopefully it does not downgrade my pay? should i go out and look for a managerial role to work and get myself some status since i need esteem? So what stage am i? What else?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Blood thicker than water
Well, on Sunday, i was preaching to my student on his behaviour. Haha, i become a good teacher leh. But then i also learnt that it is always easier to teach and tell others what to do then u do it yourself. I can tell my students to swim 100 laps, but how often i do it my self?
As i tell my student that, it is always easy to get angry with family members and quarrel, it is often hard to do the same with friends. Why? Blood thicker than water, no matter what, your family members will stand by you even you angry or quarrel with them, but your friends? try and you know you never see him again.
Parents have many expectations for us. can we fulfil them? are they too much? and is it really neccessary to fulfil them? or are the expectations even correct in the first place? Somehow, many families break apart as many have different expectation and the gap gets bigger. you may have done your best but your parents still think you still not done well. then the quarrel begins....
So lets try to look at the good points the person has done and not just the things that has not done. May be this way, one will actually appreciate each other more and treat each other better. Less quarrels and more harmony.
PS. Always bear in mind that everyone has a different life journey, we don need to shape others to be similar to ours.
As i tell my student that, it is always easy to get angry with family members and quarrel, it is often hard to do the same with friends. Why? Blood thicker than water, no matter what, your family members will stand by you even you angry or quarrel with them, but your friends? try and you know you never see him again.
Parents have many expectations for us. can we fulfil them? are they too much? and is it really neccessary to fulfil them? or are the expectations even correct in the first place? Somehow, many families break apart as many have different expectation and the gap gets bigger. you may have done your best but your parents still think you still not done well. then the quarrel begins....
So lets try to look at the good points the person has done and not just the things that has not done. May be this way, one will actually appreciate each other more and treat each other better. Less quarrels and more harmony.
PS. Always bear in mind that everyone has a different life journey, we don need to shape others to be similar to ours.
Life with an expiry
Very often, you see ads on life after retirement, financial assistance, financial planning etc. But if we can actually know the day that we are going to die, will we still working in this same manner? Planning and doing things that others tell us to do?
For example, if we know we are going to die at 50, will we still be concern about repaying our debts to the bank? will we still be working hard to try to hope to live better and plan for retirement after 65? Will we still trying to save as much and be spendthrift our whole life?
OR
Are we going to work just enough for us to go by? are we f*** the insurance agents for all the stupid endowment plans they ask us to buy? Are we still saving up for the future since there is no future? are we going to treat ourselves better since we know the day is coming soon? Are we going to ask for housing loans and try our best not to pay? :P
So how?
Living each day like you going to die tomorrow? Or simply enjoy yourself and be with the one you love for the rest of the day? or Still going to work and hope you will die at work somehow? or Lastly, still plan and pray hard that you will live through the next day?
So life is a puzzle, if you have a goal in mind you live to fulfil your goal, but everyone will walk to the end destination which is death, so why be so harsh on yourself and live each day happily ever after.
For example, if we know we are going to die at 50, will we still be concern about repaying our debts to the bank? will we still be working hard to try to hope to live better and plan for retirement after 65? Will we still trying to save as much and be spendthrift our whole life?
OR
Are we going to work just enough for us to go by? are we f*** the insurance agents for all the stupid endowment plans they ask us to buy? Are we still saving up for the future since there is no future? are we going to treat ourselves better since we know the day is coming soon? Are we going to ask for housing loans and try our best not to pay? :P
So how?
Living each day like you going to die tomorrow? Or simply enjoy yourself and be with the one you love for the rest of the day? or Still going to work and hope you will die at work somehow? or Lastly, still plan and pray hard that you will live through the next day?
So life is a puzzle, if you have a goal in mind you live to fulfil your goal, but everyone will walk to the end destination which is death, so why be so harsh on yourself and live each day happily ever after.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friends Forever?
Do you believe in friends forever? at some point i believe, but jus friends. It really takes a lot of effort for both to know each other, hang out with each other, and befriend and update each other. Thats how we become friends. But as we move on to different stages of our life, it gets harder to be friends forever, less time to update each other, less time to meet. And it seems that as we know each other as a friend, we start to drift away, further and further. To the point where you only remember someone by that name.
I seriously hope that such things will not happen to me, but it seems really hard to maintain. Just think, how many friends do you have? how often do you meet them? PS. excludes colleagues. If we have 30 friends, we meet them once a month, it will take you the whole month to finish the cycle. Apart from that, work, family, children, etc, takes up so much time for you and your friend.
It really upsets for me to feel, even though we live in such a small country, it seems a huge barrier ahead to meet each other. I really hope to see my friends again. Life is a reality, work is not everything. Lets try to meet up and have some fun. "though i quite a boring person".
To my friends out there, please give each other a chance to meet again! Though we are always busy, but will there be priorities? All the best to all my friends and acquantance. Take care.
I seriously hope that such things will not happen to me, but it seems really hard to maintain. Just think, how many friends do you have? how often do you meet them? PS. excludes colleagues. If we have 30 friends, we meet them once a month, it will take you the whole month to finish the cycle. Apart from that, work, family, children, etc, takes up so much time for you and your friend.
It really upsets for me to feel, even though we live in such a small country, it seems a huge barrier ahead to meet each other. I really hope to see my friends again. Life is a reality, work is not everything. Lets try to meet up and have some fun. "though i quite a boring person".
To my friends out there, please give each other a chance to meet again! Though we are always busy, but will there be priorities? All the best to all my friends and acquantance. Take care.
Life After Marriage
today, i encountered a small complaint from a girl about her husband. It seems tat the guy is having some affairs outside their relationship. The girl is complaining and complaining another girl. So Whats the problem? Is there still love? Is the so called love just turned into purely responsibility since they signed the papers and promised to take care of family. Its only up to the ones involved to understand.
As i was thinking of the reasons of happening. it suddenly strikes me that, at the point of signing the marriage certificate, both are young, girl is pretty and cute, guy is handsome and fit. and now, the both have white hairs, both have tummy. So is there a breach of contract as the initial person you are engaged to do not look exactly the same anymore. So whos fault is it? Sorry to the girls out there, but this is the guys perspective. "女人变形，男人变心。" So is it the guys fault? When the shoes is old you throw away, when the flowers has withered you throw away. In this cosmopolitian Country, one often has too many choices, so whos fault is that? Old mindset of marriage fix lifetime seems dont work anymore. there is a saying "有孩子可以打掉，有老婆可以离婚，女朋友算什么" 。So what is your opinion?
In conclusion, just think back the time you are together, how do you treat each other? is it the same as now? is there more negotiation than just purely love? is there money involve? If simply we take each other for granted since then, who's to blame for the current situation.
Advise to the gals, please maintain your physique. It is seriously important if you want your husband to be proud of you.
Advise to the guys, please maintain your pocket. It is seriously important if you want your wife to be proud of you.
As i was thinking of the reasons of happening. it suddenly strikes me that, at the point of signing the marriage certificate, both are young, girl is pretty and cute, guy is handsome and fit. and now, the both have white hairs, both have tummy. So is there a breach of contract as the initial person you are engaged to do not look exactly the same anymore. So whos fault is it? Sorry to the girls out there, but this is the guys perspective. "女人变形，男人变心。" So is it the guys fault? When the shoes is old you throw away, when the flowers has withered you throw away. In this cosmopolitian Country, one often has too many choices, so whos fault is that? Old mindset of marriage fix lifetime seems dont work anymore. there is a saying "有孩子可以打掉，有老婆可以离婚，女朋友算什么" 。So what is your opinion?
In conclusion, just think back the time you are together, how do you treat each other? is it the same as now? is there more negotiation than just purely love? is there money involve? If simply we take each other for granted since then, who's to blame for the current situation.
Advise to the gals, please maintain your physique. It is seriously important if you want your husband to be proud of you.
Advise to the guys, please maintain your pocket. It is seriously important if you want your wife to be proud of you.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Quarter life crisis? Goals setting?
Everyone are now busy working? one day after another, finally comes weekend, where we try to do things that we wan to do during weekdays and here comes monday blues again. The cycle goes on and on, and everyday it goes, we age. Such boredom becomes everyone's everyday life and when we think back when we are old, its simply summarized with one word. WORK. and so thats the end. For those who are conscious, we find our lifes gone and think back is this what i want? What am i doing? And that is what we term quarter life crisis and those who only feel it when they in the 40s, thats mid life crisis.
As we are lost while being tied up with "work", we no longer focus on what we want but try to fulfil what others wants, what your boss wants. So soon we found ourself like a zombie, a lifeless person who do not pursue anything and just led each day pass by.
The idea of this blog is " do you have a goal? what do you want to do? Are you constantly aware of it?" Many books tell you to set good goals using SMART. simple, meaningful, achievable, ... don remember already... but as we set goals, we forget what we set. And deviate from it. and soon we lost the meaning of breathing the air in this world. We lost what we want to achieve, we lost our dreams, and lost our life.
For me, its important to set goal but its equally important to fulfil the goal by enjoying the process. Many times, people complain about their job, long working hours etc. but when ask them why u work they reply, because the money is good. So you fulfil your goal but you dont enjoy your process.
And now, many say that i am a lazy guy, don look for a job, no goal in life, just teach swimming. But i would say, i have more time now, i still earn as much as others earn. And lastly i enjoy the process. and soon i will get my goal, though not as fast but still achievable.
So what do you want to achieve? do you enjoy the process?
As we are lost while being tied up with "work", we no longer focus on what we want but try to fulfil what others wants, what your boss wants. So soon we found ourself like a zombie, a lifeless person who do not pursue anything and just led each day pass by.
The idea of this blog is " do you have a goal? what do you want to do? Are you constantly aware of it?" Many books tell you to set good goals using SMART. simple, meaningful, achievable, ... don remember already... but as we set goals, we forget what we set. And deviate from it. and soon we lost the meaning of breathing the air in this world. We lost what we want to achieve, we lost our dreams, and lost our life.
For me, its important to set goal but its equally important to fulfil the goal by enjoying the process. Many times, people complain about their job, long working hours etc. but when ask them why u work they reply, because the money is good. So you fulfil your goal but you dont enjoy your process.
And now, many say that i am a lazy guy, don look for a job, no goal in life, just teach swimming. But i would say, i have more time now, i still earn as much as others earn. And lastly i enjoy the process. and soon i will get my goal, though not as fast but still achievable.
So what do you want to achieve? do you enjoy the process?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tsunami - the new wave! Hidden agenda
All movies has a message to convey. all movies are based on certain beliefs. So here comes Tsunami.
South Korea, a place where everyone believes that Tsunami will never happen and it happens.
1. Dictates the minset of human beings. as we are all well and kicking, we do not care or treasure the people around you. We tend to compete and fight. But when things happen, you just regret what has happened and remorse over it.
2. People will not bother unless it happens. Authority and power, who going to bear the responsibility when evacuation is issued and nothing happens? Economic loss over it. Remember the Phuket tragedy? Every one caught offguard. Whats the meteological center doing? they obviously know but no one can take the responsibility if nothing happens.
3. As we are struggling in a monetary world, wont it be better to care for someone around you before its too late? when disaster strike one often regret for not doing this and that. While we constantly fight, sometimes we often neglect the one who loves you most, who always standing by you.
4. Lastly, don say nothing will happen. Well when it does, its too late. Live everyday with no regrets. Enjoy now suffer later. Maybe life is so short live, we gone before any sufferings come. :P
Why i live near East Coast. Lucky i know how to swim. So for those who dont know how to swim, sign up now with me. haha... PM me for swimming courses.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Imprisonment and slavery
Do you have a office? do you report to your office and sits in your cubical for 8 hours or more a day? is this lifestyle what you want? Or you are just getting used to it and seems no way to get out of it?
Life these days are more of life imprisonment. Be it you are in retail or service sector or in office jobs, OL (Office Lady) and OG (office Gentlemen), you are constantly struggle between personal and work time. Everyone is at least imprisoned for 44 hours a week in the office and finding themselves in difficult situations and workloads. This is a typical life of a Singaporean. End of the week, you find yourself 2 days free, but dont know what to do or simply dealing with housework. Is this lifestyle of yours? Is this the way you want to live?
Do we have any choice? The choice to choose? The choice to do what we want, to fulfil our dreams? As much as we want, we are always constrained and unwilling to change. We become slavery of to the monetary gains and Companies that provide us with the vitamins (M). By the time you feel like going for retirement, you feel that you are too old to move or stranded with other commitments and when the time comes, we leave this world with regrets.
So is that what the most intelligent being in this Mother Earth we found is doing? As much as we are clever and better than any other animals, we have self proclaimed a system, a cage that stores everyone and imprisoned everyone, be it willing or unwilling, the day we are born we are being tied to the economy, the prosperity of the nation. And Bureacracy and Human rights we call it, have turned slavery legal. Isnt it simply pathetic? Or i should say sadly, intelligent being imprisoned by their own creation.
Life these days are more of life imprisonment. Be it you are in retail or service sector or in office jobs, OL (Office Lady) and OG (office Gentlemen), you are constantly struggle between personal and work time. Everyone is at least imprisoned for 44 hours a week in the office and finding themselves in difficult situations and workloads. This is a typical life of a Singaporean. End of the week, you find yourself 2 days free, but dont know what to do or simply dealing with housework. Is this lifestyle of yours? Is this the way you want to live?
Do we have any choice? The choice to choose? The choice to do what we want, to fulfil our dreams? As much as we want, we are always constrained and unwilling to change. We become slavery of to the monetary gains and Companies that provide us with the vitamins (M). By the time you feel like going for retirement, you feel that you are too old to move or stranded with other commitments and when the time comes, we leave this world with regrets.
So is that what the most intelligent being in this Mother Earth we found is doing? As much as we are clever and better than any other animals, we have self proclaimed a system, a cage that stores everyone and imprisoned everyone, be it willing or unwilling, the day we are born we are being tied to the economy, the prosperity of the nation. And Bureacracy and Human rights we call it, have turned slavery legal. Isnt it simply pathetic? Or i should say sadly, intelligent being imprisoned by their own creation.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
What is marriage?
how many are seriously happily married? how many have a blissful marriage? Just not long ago, my friend is having a bit of quarrels over her marriage. So what do marriage means and why people are getting married?
As our society are getting more and more open, more and more westernize, marriage seems to be the last thing in mind or a passport to the new world of having babies. In the past, marriage gives you the best of connection between 2 love birds, but now seems that without marriage they can still be having connection. And as far as durex survey has shown, the earliest connectin is now at age 14. And so what do marriage provide?
Someone once told me that marriage is about giving half to your other partner. So what is the half? half your time? or half your asset? By the way Jacer is a guy. Traditional one. so if the gal is coming to stay with the male, half means the guy loses half? half of his bed, half of his wardrobe (where as a gal i believe you will not be satisfied) half of your cabinet and lots of other unwanted things hanging around. And good luck for the guy who moves in to stay with the girl. And so marriage is about sharing, who gets the share?
Well, here comes the best, if marriage which serves no purpose, divorce... The girl gets half and on top of that they still have a sum of money every month. So to all who are getting married? good luck.
from someone who tries to believe in marriage, and yet filled with much disbelieve.
As our society are getting more and more open, more and more westernize, marriage seems to be the last thing in mind or a passport to the new world of having babies. In the past, marriage gives you the best of connection between 2 love birds, but now seems that without marriage they can still be having connection. And as far as durex survey has shown, the earliest connectin is now at age 14. And so what do marriage provide?
Someone once told me that marriage is about giving half to your other partner. So what is the half? half your time? or half your asset? By the way Jacer is a guy. Traditional one. so if the gal is coming to stay with the male, half means the guy loses half? half of his bed, half of his wardrobe (where as a gal i believe you will not be satisfied) half of your cabinet and lots of other unwanted things hanging around. And good luck for the guy who moves in to stay with the girl. And so marriage is about sharing, who gets the share?
Well, here comes the best, if marriage which serves no purpose, divorce... The girl gets half and on top of that they still have a sum of money every month. So to all who are getting married? good luck.
from someone who tries to believe in marriage, and yet filled with much disbelieve.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What makes you successful?
Since young, when we score A for our subjects, we are clever. When we score D, we are stupid. People will think that you will be successuful when you grow older if you are academically good. As we grow older, our benchmark of success change. Success in going into University, Success in having a good job, success in having a good pay? So what is success? What is the definition of success?
Recently i was thinking... Am i getting useless? Since i finish my university studies, i have not been working except swimming. I have been slacking for the past few months on weekdays and feeling bored and lonely. Is it success? The life of a retired where many trying to achieve and hope to achieve when they grow old. Why i can do so? coz i still can earn an average pay a uni grad earns so its easy for me to slack. but as i am slacking, i do feel a bit useless. So what is success??
If you define success as the money you earn, i earning above average. Am i success?
If you define success as the time you can control, i am too free most of the time. Am i success?
If you define relationship, i have a lovely girl. Am i success?
If the 3 of them deems u as success why do i feel so sucky? why i feel lousy? just because of the free time i have? so what is success then??
Well may be 10 years down the road when my income is still the same and others hopefully climbed the corporate ladder, become managers, found a wife, i can finally verify the uselessness i have now.
Recently i was thinking... Am i getting useless? Since i finish my university studies, i have not been working except swimming. I have been slacking for the past few months on weekdays and feeling bored and lonely. Is it success? The life of a retired where many trying to achieve and hope to achieve when they grow old. Why i can do so? coz i still can earn an average pay a uni grad earns so its easy for me to slack. but as i am slacking, i do feel a bit useless. So what is success??
If you define success as the money you earn, i earning above average. Am i success?
If you define success as the time you can control, i am too free most of the time. Am i success?
If you define relationship, i have a lovely girl. Am i success?
If the 3 of them deems u as success why do i feel so sucky? why i feel lousy? just because of the free time i have? so what is success then??
Well may be 10 years down the road when my income is still the same and others hopefully climbed the corporate ladder, become managers, found a wife, i can finally verify the uselessness i have now.
Different Game play?
Singapore is small country with no natural resources and natural Disasters. This may be good but as we are so safe and secured in this tiny land, we tend to lose the feelings of being in a kampong, where love and relationships are the main importance. The care and concern for each other is there and "love is in the air". People are more friendly and helpful.
As we evolve, with more competitive education (every year talks about ranking and scores), we are constantly competitive and out do each other. As we step into the reality world, we try to increase our worth and outdo your colleagues. (havent you hear about office politics and arrows?) And so, where is love and friendliness?
Yesterday, we just experience an earthquake. Yes, earthquake in Singapore? will it eventually get bigger and Singapore buildings tumbling like dominos? If it does, are we still just constantly thinking of monetary issues and work? Will it be the same GAME PLAY, where CASH IS KING? Will we still so involved in ourselves and be as selfish as possible to earn the most our of everyone? will there be a shift of power and feelings for each other? Will we be more concern about safety and not money?
we know that people care and love for each other but when? only when disasters strike? Only when someone dies? Why we only treasure when we lose it? How often do you see your family and relatives? How often you try to help others? How often do you care about the things happening around?
But when things strike, the shift in game play from a safe environment to a natural disaster prone country, will we CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE? TOWARDS PEOPLE? TOWARDS THE GOVERNMENT? TOWARDS OUR FAMILY? Will we live better in natural disasters where there is less power struggle between people but the environment? Will we earn just enough or needs more to feel the power?
As we evolve, with more competitive education (every year talks about ranking and scores), we are constantly competitive and out do each other. As we step into the reality world, we try to increase our worth and outdo your colleagues. (havent you hear about office politics and arrows?) And so, where is love and friendliness?
Yesterday, we just experience an earthquake. Yes, earthquake in Singapore? will it eventually get bigger and Singapore buildings tumbling like dominos? If it does, are we still just constantly thinking of monetary issues and work? Will it be the same GAME PLAY, where CASH IS KING? Will we still so involved in ourselves and be as selfish as possible to earn the most our of everyone? will there be a shift of power and feelings for each other? Will we be more concern about safety and not money?
we know that people care and love for each other but when? only when disasters strike? Only when someone dies? Why we only treasure when we lose it? How often do you see your family and relatives? How often you try to help others? How often do you care about the things happening around?
But when things strike, the shift in game play from a safe environment to a natural disaster prone country, will we CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE? TOWARDS PEOPLE? TOWARDS THE GOVERNMENT? TOWARDS OUR FAMILY? Will we live better in natural disasters where there is less power struggle between people but the environment? Will we earn just enough or needs more to feel the power?
Motivation
How do we increase motivation? go for classes? change your emotional state? Seems that its abit hard for me to improve on that. Maybe its the goal that is tied to me. I want my time, i dont want time to be lost on something i dont like to do and just to exchange monetary benefits. The contra thought, thats what everyone is doing. thats what you need to do to earn big bucks or at least a good income. Well, i don know. Looking at how my parents slog, it makes me think why are we constantly stuck? and why life is like this.
However, to enjoy better lifestyle and self esteem, you need to be rich. you need people to look up upon you, you need to either have status or be rich. So how? so contradicting goals. So hard to move on. being pulled by 2 goals. So what should i do? I have 3 companies running yet i don feel like being involved. I don know if i made the right choice but i know, deep down is always a struggle for a balance between family, work, personal time and love. If i can be told what to do.. will it be better? or will i just feel turned off?
However, to enjoy better lifestyle and self esteem, you need to be rich. you need people to look up upon you, you need to either have status or be rich. So how? so contradicting goals. So hard to move on. being pulled by 2 goals. So what should i do? I have 3 companies running yet i don feel like being involved. I don know if i made the right choice but i know, deep down is always a struggle for a balance between family, work, personal time and love. If i can be told what to do.. will it be better? or will i just feel turned off?
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