Happiness? Intrinsic one. not extrinsic happiness, please!

How to be happy? Many people know what is happiness and why it is so important? but how to be truly happy? how this society is teaching the knowledge of how to be happy while working on the direct opposite to ensure that your life is filled with stress, responsibility, hardship and taking away the pure happiness which they preached that you need to have.

Now, so what is true happiness. why is it that many people are not happy, why do they need stimulus like movies, jokes, silly acts to give you momentarily happiness, or is it these momentarily acts that bring them out of the unhappy environment?

Now, take a step back when you are happy, when was it? when was the real freedom and lifestyle that make you feel light, happy, and carefree? School days (when there is no exams). Exactly!. why? happiness comes from inside, not external stimulus, the freedom of life with no responsibility or responsibility that you can cope, the stress free environment where there is nothing to worry about. life can pass by where you know everything can be taken care of. 

Scenarios:

being rich

One may say being rich will be happy, but some rich people are so unhappy as they have reached the next level of life where its hard to let go. its just like playing game of level 99, and death means starting from level 1, so will you be happy that you are on level 99 or you are stressed that you need to attain the level 100? 

Minimalist

Many people also takes a minimalist approach, being sufficient is enough. and no need to achieve more than that, yes, one can find inner peace, but if you increase the timeline, including the time where you are no longer able to work, and you are on limited savings, adding the inflation  and cost of living through the years. one can not help the jittery up the spine and giving the cold snuggle that what we do today is not enough. 

Hobby

Frankly, after working for 15 years, i no longer know what is my hobby, what i like to do and what i want to try, there are many things that once i dearly wanted but no longer having feelings to do. and after committed to work hard for 15 years, busy day in and out and trying to do the best as a worker, a husband, a father, and a child, i realise i lost myself along the way. i no longer recall anything that is considered a hobby can excite me and yearning to try to do. 

So now, what is happiness? how can one truly be happy? being positive? being minimalist? doing what you like and only worry tomorrow? maybe the best way is to let go of everything, and no expectation in life and probably end the life when we have exhausted all our resources.  

Tell me how you can have intrinsic happiness if you are yet reaching retirement age, and yet you know that what you are doing today is just hardship through adult life and may prolong into retirement life eventually till death. 

Singaporean life.

After 8 months of unemployment, everything seems so grey, many things around me has changed. and you can actually feel it. Things are no longer the same as it is, the arrogance of you is gone, the self confidence you once had seems so fragile, the life we so much wanted seems so far away. 

Singapore is a small country with no natural disasters, we are even ranked the happiest country (i do not know why). But in a very micro view, you will realize how competitive we are in our own world. in school we need to score good GPA results to go to better schools, in life we trying our best to do as much as possible to become better than anyone else. we are in a constant struggle with our peers, trying to out-win and outperform. A stark contrast when you go to other countries, where life seems less competitive and they appreciate life as it is and happy that they are alive. Probably that's the best thing about having natural disaster, to be repairing everything they build and survive every destruction that came. 

Singapore is also fantastic to bring up competition. look at inflation, the numbers are low, but look at housing and private transportation, the price is ridiculously high. Who can afford if you earn $5000 a month? to buy a HDB at $750k or a basic car at $150k? seems really ridiculous to what we want to lead a comfortable life. 

So the joke is, while foreigners always appreciate us in our high salary, cheap food, none actually know that we are simply asset rich and cash strapped. life is never as rosy and it just seems an endless cycle in the rat race unless you are a boss (but different set of problem).

no conclusion to this post, but we just live in what we are in, its not easy to live outside our identity and our origins. so i still struggling to see what else i can do!

Some concepts that i like to quantify in my life.

 Old school guy that cannot do videos. so i shall just write it here...

Teenage days

Being good and learning in school didn’t mean that you will be successful

Life is a lot more than learning in school and doing well in subjects

Taking risk and pitfalls seems to be the best time for your life

Nothing to lose. No responsibility. Good to venture into different adventure.

Joke of life -28 to 42 years old. 

Working for others - having a huge hope of climbing the corporate ladder

Thinking that company will always provide opportunities for you as you learn while others that probably venture out already make their mark as they have nothing to lose

Learning/ one step position is the façade to delay progression and to further analyse your path in the corporate world.

Your ability is nothing merely to the eyes of the superior as corporate world is just a thin ice, walking on It and you never know when it will crack and fell into the waters. 

Days of being unemployed

1. It is not how much you are earning, but how much task and work you have to keep you feel useful

2. The Singapore society has a myopia that everyone has to work and not being unemployed

3. Living at a age past 40, having a job seems more important than not having one. 

a. After 45, the best before has expired and its really difficult to get a job

4. Inertia of learning is so strong, so hard to do something different

5. Starting out and going on a different path of business owner seems so hard compared to just being a function of the company.

a. Worried of losing out

b. Worried of unable to perform

c. Getting the right support and materials to sell 

Parenting

We are not Kiasu, we just want to protect the last safety net of ensuring basic education and success for our kids. That’s the only thing parents know. Future road is paved by you, no parents can envision what future is like, what we can do is only to equip as much as we can to ensure you are more ready to what life going to be in future. 

Adaptability

Poor people turning rich will still feel happier having his/her favourite simple food. While rich turn poor will be stressed over simple food. No matter what we become, we can never release our old self and where we really feel comfortable.

Live positively

昨天去世的人或许还在规划着明天，早上去世的人可能还在计划着晚上。也许一瞬间一切都会消失，忙碌中我们来不及享受，我们漠视了爱与被爱，赖人活着到底为了什么？我们这一生总是在等，等将来，等不忙，等有钱，等到了后来只有遗憾。因为你永远也不知道下一秒将会发生什么，所以请善待自己。这个世界其实就你一个人，你在世界就在，你没了世界就消失了。人这一辈子想得开的就是天堂，想不开就是地狱。越在意什么，什么就会折磨。你你越计较什么，什么就会困扰你。你之所以痛苦就是因为你太过较真了。你之所以迷茫就是因为你太计较得失了。‘

survival

钱没了可以再挣，工作没了可以再找，朋友没了可以再交，爱情没了可以再找，你生来就一无所有，何惧从头再来。强大的人不是能征服什么，而是能承受什么。睡前原谅一切，醒来便是重生。活着就要遇山开路，遇水架桥，出门靠自己，四海皆为家，得到未必是福，失去未必是祸，人生各有渡口，各有各洲，万般皆是命，半点不由人。有一句话说得好，成熟不分早晚，重要的是你能坚持，在崩溃中前行。这才是一个男人该有的样子 

Attitude

我唯独喜欢自己的一点就是仁至义尽后的彻底绝情。因为我不再亏欠你，所以你也无需试探。我一旦开始反感就再也不会喜欢。你有你做事的理由，我有我为人的自由。善良的人一旦选择了绝情，你连跪着的资格都没有。

Educating next generation

你们家起的最早的是谁？我妈妈。在你们家，谁是负责赚钱干活最多的人？我爸爸。

对，那最后一个问题，吃的最好的，睡的最香的是谁？我。

是吧，到你自己了，你这吃的挺好的，玩的也挺好的，你看你打扮的多潮啊，衣服穿得多好啊，都是名牌。我怎么没觉得看着你好呢？你的学习状态哪去了？你要等到你爸妈头发全都白了之后，他们干不动了，人老了，你才明白什么叫努力，那个时候觉得你还有用吗？

你知道这个世界上最没良心的人是谁吗？是忘恩负义，对不对？那些吃父母的，花父母的，就还有脑子里去恨父母的人，要钱的时候要求父母的时候，我态度好，我是个乖乖仔。不要的时候，巴不得他们离你越远越好，是吧？滚到天边月最好，然后把她微信都给拉黑了，不会联系爸爸妈妈了，对不对？你要真的是个男子汉，我告诉你，你注意自己的态度，等他们离你很远的时候，孩子，子欲养而亲不待。老师上课也讲过你，不要等到你亲人不在了，你最后后悔都来不及。你能够明白吗？你可能现在还没有感受到，我希望今天老师说的话，你听进去。对你没有坏处， 你自己再去感受感受，谁是真的在你遇到困难的时候，再对你好的人。真心对你，愿意就你拉你一把的人。是不是你想明白这个道理，你在想着你要不要跟那些狐朋狗友出去鬼混，好吧。老师最后一次提醒你了我相信你可以做到啊。

9 years on. i am back to where i am today

 It has been 9 years since my last blog. i thought blogspot has closed. but to my surprise, my blogs are still there. 

So what happen over the 9 years. 

I was in and out of 3 companies, Getting higher in my career path and accelerating into the next stage of life. well, i can say that in my last co. i have been treated differently and seems to be well respected "Like a boss". then came the drastic truth of cost cutting, everything i built over the last 9 years seems to have crashed. finding myself unemployed and lost in the vast universe. 

Good that i have enough savings that tide me through this period, i don't know how long more will i still be in this situation. *fingers crossed*. Not here to bitch of my life, but what i have learned....

Well the thing is, what we have today can be gone in seconds, be it career, health, family, friends. the hopes of all companies promising great future may just be an empty promise. the illusion of doing good, life good may just be another dream. 

I have tried many things over the last 5 months, venturing into businesses, understanding different businesses and supplies. trying my best to bring myself together. indeed, it is terribly hard. emotionally unstable. and trying my best to be strong. but each time i try to get up, i realize its another illusion.

and probably the underlying issue with me is i am still battered by the sheer fact that i am no longer where i used to be. going back to the lowest point just don't seem motivating for me.  

Guess the next best option is still to find another job, the only difference is, there is no more emotions, no more passion in the next work that i am in. as what people say, if you don't expect anything there is no disappointment.

I guess everyone has their tastes of ups and downs in life to really call it life. else life can be as boring as it can gets. 

At least i am still blessed with a great family. I am really proud to have a good and supportive wife. and 4 kids who are sensible and doing well. well, the only downside is the elder generation are getting on my nerves now and then, trying to discord my principles of coaching my children, giving old and outdated information to the kids, being negatives, nagging, and creating friction in the family. 

till next time, Ciao!!

Time to move on...

Its been 3 years since i last posted a blog. I even forgot my password and didn't know google swallowed blogspot.

Currently my life stage is looking for a career path. I have worked in a company that given me lots of flexibility and freedom. Well, the problem is there is no path in this company. I have seen how my director suffered after 25 years of commitment and works like a slave.

I have been reflecting what i should do. I have thought what is my passion. What should i do? There is a saying, doing what you like is like never a day working. Being an employee is so controlled. I want to be my own boss yet nothing can be done.

Thinking back, i have been a great boss teaching swimming. I am really happy coaching, but over time, instability and commitments has forced me to become an employee. Now as things get better, should i go back coaching? My Lifesaving career has died for years and will it be hard to kick start? Will i be able to find back my lifesaving empire? Can i build a business in lifesaving? Can i handly the instability? unknown of the future?

I have now completed my loan for a car and house and have some savings to tide through a year of expense. Should i really move on and do my career? Should i really move on to have unstable salary? Guess decision can only be made after my 4th child arrives.

What Path do you want to walk?

Life is not as structured as you think when u step out of school. Since young, everything seems to be prearranged. What u need to do is all set for you. But the moment you graduate, things start to change. There is no longer a benchmark to what you are supposed to do and what results you want to yield. There is no more guidelines to how far you have achieved and what u need to achieve.

So what paths are you looking at?

Career orientated.
Be a good employee, climb the ladder and earns a stable income to provide for yourself and family.

Entrepreneur orientated.
Able to take risk, business orientated and want to build your empire. Full focus on your business development

Future orientated
Worries about the future, always think about more things to do and what to do to secure a better future.

Family orientated
Be a house person, go home to be with family and kids. Enjoy the comfort of family lifestyle and no interested in anything happens outside the house.

Self orientated
Only cares about now and yourself. Do whatever you are happy, no doubts and worries about future. Life live now and talk later.

Competitive orientated
Always out to outwin others, Wants to have everything and wins in every aspects.

So many path in life and so many ways to lead your life. Life no longer have a right or wrong answer and just on how you want to live it. The fact of all is that you cant have the best of both world. Everyone has 24 hours. If you want to be a good employee, businessman, you cant be a self orientated or a family man. There is simply no time for the best of both world. Thats why this lead to the famosu quarter life crisis and mid life crisis where everyone thinks about what is right and wrong and what should be done.

QUESTIONS and QUESTIONS pops up!!! What else i should do to make things better. should i quit my job and do things i want. If so what happens to the well being of the family. After some time, u also wonder, what you really want to do in life. What are the things you want to accomplish in life. Is life really fragile or strong as you see. Is the time and air you breathing now is eternity? Is what you are working for worth your effort or just wasting time away? If not, due to the circumstances, what else can you do? and even if you accomplish what you wan to do, what else should i do? and if i really do things i like, is it really make me useful or just simply wasted.

There is just simply no answer and its really hard to balance. Life is Fragile as we know, Life is short as we know, yet almost all of us spend 3 quarter of our life working and we only complain that we do not have time. And while many are building up their wealth and dreams but they are not eternity or forever, there is still an end to everything. So whats life.

A lesson on financing loans

When it comes to loans, it seem that everyone is leaving it to the agent or financial planner to settle everything. However, have you thought that they are the devils themselves. why they help u plan because they earn a cut from you. For example, if you have a loan to finance and u have the money in the bank, they will still ask you to invest and slowly finance the loan even though the investment is not guanranteed and the returns are less than your interest paid for the loan. Why? because they get commission.

Basic rule, is loan as much as u can as an entrepreneur so that you can do more with min cash output. but the assumption is 0% interest. yet most people misunderstood and start taking loan from housing, car and even your electrical appliance. And earning 0.0025% interest by keeping the money in the bank. In absolute value, you pay so much more for the things u buy.

My take, if you have no use for the money and you have no ways to grow the money that is more than your interest for any loans you taking, pay back your loan. In absolute monetary value, it is still more worth it than taking up the loan. Dont forget, they give you loan so they earn, zero sum game, they earn you lose, so why take up the losing game when you have the ability to pay back.

Eg if you have $10,000 in the bank generating $25 interest, why dont you back back to the loan that is $10000 that charges u $600 interest. Dont u think that is pure stupidity?

You will question, may be i need the money. So comes the next basic rule, emergency cash is 6 months of your expenses. If you spend $1000 a month, u need at least $6000 in the bank to back u up. thats all. and dont forget you still have your job, u still earning a living. so why be a idiot to keep financing loan and not enjoying freedom from liabilities.